I’m female, in my early twenties and in my second last year of a four year degree at a prestigious Melbourne university. For the most part, I’ve lived a charmed life and money’s never been a concern of mine thanks to my family background. Since my late teens, I’ve worked a number of high end retail jobs while picking up modelling and acting gigs on the side.
Two years ago, I would have scoffed at the idea of online dating. I could have never imagined signing up for an online dating website, let alone a sugar daddy website where men pay women for companionship. A lot changed when my boyfriend of two years broke up with me without warning. I was an emotional trainwreck, so much so that I had to pull out of ‘Australia’s Next Top Model’, a cable TV show which I had spent a good several months in late 2012 testing and auditioning for. It was that very breakup that sparked a series of events that led to me discovering ‘mutually beneficial relationships’ and the ‘sugar baby’ lifestyle.
Post-Breakup, Pre-Sugar Baby
When the dust settled after my breakup with Josh, I found myself lonely and restless. Almost all of my closest friends were happily coupled and some were already engaged. I tried rallying some of my single friends for girls’ nights out, but as my retail job required me to work weekends, I had little energy to deal with the douchebags that we’d run into at bars and clubs. Going to those venues only made me feel old as it brought back memories of my happier, more carefree 18-year-old self doing exactly the same.
I was lonely and restless after my breakup
Knowing that I wasn’t going to find my next partner over cheap drinks and loud music at a bar in Melbourne’s CBD, I decided to take to online dating. I spent all night one Friday trying to formulate the perfect OkCupid profile. From hobbies to interests to funny anecdotes about my childhood, I had compressed my persona into a few short paragraphs for consumption by the online dating masses. Sadly, most of the messages I received on there were no more detailed than ‘Hi’, ‘sup’ or ‘your hot’. I figured that the most important part of my profile was my profile photo, which had to be poised but not posed, and sexy but not slutty. The superficial fixations of the online dating crowd are probably why datings apps like Tinder now exist.
Online dating just wasn’t for me
I spent three months on OkCupid and went on six platonic and totally disappointing dates before coming to the realisation that online dating just wasn’t for me. A day or so after deleting my OkCupid account, I happened upon a banner ad for a sugar daddy website (targeted advertising for the win). It promised attractive young women the promise of dating successful and confident men. My previous online dating experience had left me jaded, but I couldn’t help but be tempted by the ad. What woman wouldn’t want to date a successful and confident man? Curious as to what the catch was, I clicked on the banner.
The ‘Mutually Beneficial Relationship’
The sugar daddy website that I visited described the relationships between their young women (known as ‘sugar babies’) and typically older, successful men (known as ‘sugar daddies’) in quasi-transactional terms. The site suggested that sugar baby / sugar daddy relationships are no different to business agreements where the objectives and expectations of each party are made clear from the start. Indeed, it seemed that the main point of sugar daddy websites was to allow men to exchange a nominated monthly allowance for the affections of a young, attractive woman.
My father would have been proud
Creating my profile was easy; I had to list all of my most important physical attributes and specify the allowance that I expected from my prospective sugar daddy. The allowances available were: under $1,000, $1,000 to $3,000, $3,000 to $5,000, $5,000 to $10,000, and then $10,000 or more. A thousand questions came to mind – were there girls on here who really earned more than $10,000 a month? Could you build multiple income streams through several different sugar daddies? I was devising plans in my head that would have made my own father proud, if not for the fact that I was effectively auctioning myself off to the highest and perhaps oldest male bidder.
My Experiences as a Sugar Baby
Click here to read My First Sugar Daddy, Part 2 of Bella C.’s sugar baby blog.